Wednesday, March 10, 2010

イビキ王様

イビキ、大っ嫌い。俺にとって、イビキの音はまるで爪で黒板を引っ掻くみたいな音だ。最悪だ。だから朝通勤してる時、イビキなんか聞きたくねえよ。いつもiPodを頼りにしてる。だけど今日は違ったんだ。電車に乗り込んだとたん、早く席を取ったが、その席は天敵のイビキ王様の隣の席だった。普通はそいつを避けるけど、あの30代でだらしない格好の王様陛下は今回俺と同じ電車に乗っている。最初は気づいてなかったけど、トールの神秘的なとんかちのようにとどろくようなイビキをかいた。
ぐうーーーーーーーーーーぐうぐうーーーーーーーーーー
その瞬間だけで隣の乗客はだれだか分かった。それに加え、なんと今日はiPodを忘れた。

Snoring sucks.
For me, it's akin to the sound of nails running down a chalk board. It's bad. And the last thing I want to do on my morning commute is listen to some guy choking on his own nose. Luckily, I usually have my trusty iPod with me to block out any unwanted noises if they arise. Today, however, was different.
On the train ride to Ueno this time, I unwittingly sat next to my mortal enemy -- The Snork King.
His Heinousness is a slovenly dressed, slightly chubby thirtysomething who invariably rides the same train I do on certain days. At first, I didn't notice the dude. But with all the power of Thor's mighty hammer, he unleashed his first thunderous blow.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZHORFFFFCHACKZZZZ.
From the moment I heard this malodorous noise, I knew who it was. And I knew I was in trouble: today, I had no iPod to spare me his wrath.

皆さん、その立場になった、どうする?


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